I have not heard this specific idea yet:
If the government wants to bail out banks and save the economy while gaining the respect of all us little “consumers” then do this, for only half the cost ($350 bil.)
The economic stimulus checks were a half-baked idea, but they were on the right track… and IF they would have done it the way I’m about to describe, it may have actually worked. Now they have a second chance.
$1,000 for every American citizen = about $350 bil. But do not pay it directly to them. Instead, for any American families who have bank loans, apply it to those loans. That will be helping “consumers” out and fluxing a whole bunch of money into all of the banks. For those Americans who do not have bank loans per say, apply the $1,000 to any outstanding debt that they have to any US companies. That will not only further reduce the debt of Americans in general, but also help out the American companies. Finally, for those people, who have neither bank debt, nor debt to a company, give those rare citizens their $1,000 check... those are the ones who are financially responsible enough to receive cash (and b.t.w. I’m NOT one of them!).

forecasted high tomorrow: 94 degrees.
its a friday, preceding a real weekend, after 12 strait days of work.
after work, we are meeting in the park to sample all kinds of homemade mexican food made by the many, many non-english-speaking ladies from the job.
and yes, there will be margaritas.
today... a permanent assistant was finally hired for me, so that i can kick a more satisfactory amount of ass.
this weekend i will finally be able to enact the ultimately perfect diet that i have been tirelessly concocting over the last 2 months. my vitamins/etc. arrived from UPS today. it is a thing of subtle, harmonic badass-ness.
my customized punching bags are hung, just as i myself am, and i have informed the ladies that i have overcome the need for nightly companionship, as i enjoy my own company in the pursuit of kicking the shit out of my custom punching bags more than doing things that in the morning would make me feel like a whore. i lived as a hermit-monk at least 8 out of 10 years during my 20's, and sometimes it was very difficult. i had to defeat feelings of loneliness like all other mortals, but now i know that in me such trife bullshit is history. it feels perfect to be my own best friend.
my bike ride from work is now 1/2 hour instead of 45 min. because my legs are getting more powerful.
the boxes i lift at work are light now, whereas they felt heavy 2 months ago.
my position as a manager at work is secure now. i am the only person in the entire building allowed overtime. i have nearly 20 people under me. i have complete creative liberty in my management. it feels awesome to finally have my genius recognized and utilized by someone besides myself.
life is good. my stepdad always said that, but at the time he did, i felt like the blood didnt belong in my body. i was researching suicide techniques. by the way, i found that skydiving without a parachute is the most efficient course.
but i can see it now. i refuse to watch TV or even listen to radio commercials, but i am trying to assimilate myself into the borg. I am learning the joy of flirting, of inner-peace, of complete optimism, of total self-confidence, of getting older.
Its like i can fully feel the weight and wisdom of so many years, and it finally, somehow, feels like a struggle justified.
I am loving the daily exercise of having no one to please but my God, my son, and myself.
I'd like to say that I am happy, but i am honestly to busy living life to question or worry about such a thing. Of course I could wish that i was a stay-at-home parent like my baby's-mother. who could dream of a better life? but i am certainly a crucial element in making that life possible for her, and that knowledge of being a provider is a special joy in itself that only a loving, hard-working father can know.
When I am able to send my baby's stay-at-home mother extra money, and organic gifts, and air purifiers, and even gifts for the other family members who help out, i thank God that he has made me a conqueror.
yeah, i would like to be a millionare so that i could do so much more for them, and the rest of my family. the fact is, if i was a millionare i would be holding my baby son right now.
optimism is the key. did i mention it's going to be 94 degrees tomorrow?!

Tags: air purifiers, babies, being hung, bullshit, efficiency, exercise, fatherhood, flirting, genius, god, harmonic badass-ness, hermit-monks, history, loneliness, margaritas, millionares, money, mortals, non-english-speaking women, optimism, organic stuff, overtime, punching bags, staying at home, stepdads, suicide, sunshine, the borg, the ultimately perfect diet, tv, vitamins, weather forecasts
Current Location: the place where i'm last seen
Current Mood: contemplative

A University of Arizona graduate and avid rock climber died January 30th in an ice-climbing accident in Provo Canyon, Utah. He struck a ledge and was pronounced dead at the scene.
The reason why this makes me chuckle is that poor people are not "avid rock climers" who graduate from fancy colleges to become "regional sales representatives." Poor people are too busy working shit jobs for The Man to ever think about climbing ice. That would be like if if some well known politician fell off his yatch while fishing for tuna and drowned... they wouldnt have that problem if they were struggling to pay their bills. Fuck the upper class and their extravagant deaths.

Current Location: ice climbing with my frat brothers
Current Mood: awake

my dog ran away for the second night in a row.
last night he pulled backward off his leash as soon as we got outside and took off full speed toward the nearest traffic, then bolted down the road after another dog. only by grace, with my legally-blind vision, did i find him then.
anf then tonight, as i was stepping out the door, he bolts past me. when i yell at him to get inside, he looks me in the eye and then breaks into a full sprint, and literally disappears around the corner. for about a half hour i considered him gone the way of dumpster diving and road-wandering. but then i found him down the street harrassing some nieghboring dogs, and carried him home.
i guess he resent me for leaving him home alone with a cat all day while i work. he doesnt understand what happened to my (ex)girlfriend, who used to sit around the house with him all day, everyday, since she left me. he doeant know how plush he has it, covering all of my fabric belongings with piles of hair as he lounges in the central heat @ air. gormet dog food and fresh water.
i hardly envy rich people as much as i do my animals, and yet they run like a girlfriend with your baby... i was glad to find him, but at the same time i realized that if a dog runs from a great thing, because they're too dumb to realize how good they have it, that's really their problem.

Tags: dogs and bitches
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: oh yeah, music

things i learned tonight about maggots in pasta:
when cooking pasta with maggots in it
1. they float at first, but then sink as they get water-logged
2. you can never get them all out
3. the boiling water must sterilize them... right?
3. what people on fear-factor will do for 50 grand, i'll do to shut up the monster in my stomach
3. being poor is never, never any fun

Tags: floating maggots
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: music -- thats a great idea

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.

i got my aching wisdom tooth pulled this morning and, to my surprise, when the anesthesia wore off this afternoon there was absolutely no swelling or discomfort at all. ha. i called up the doc to tell him that he kicks ass at ripping teeth out. the after-care directions say to eat only "soft" stuff, so i went and polished off a 1.75 quart bucket of triple chocolate ice cream. Next up: 22 eggs worth of egg salad (i broke 2 on the way home)! What's cholesterol?

Tags: anesthesia, doctors ripping things out, eggs, giant bowl of cholesterol, ice cream, kicking ass, swelling and discomfort, wisdom
Current Location: the ass-troll plane
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Field Mobb featuring Bonecrusher - "Deep Tonight"

thank goodness the "holidays" are over!

One of my wisdom teeth with a giant cavity in it broke away a little, leaving a jagged 3/4 of a tooth, including one edge that turned into an amazingly sharp mini tooth dagger that sliced up my fingertip when I felt on it and eventually began poking at my inner cheek like an evil neurosurgeon poking at a naked brain stem with a scalpel. I wasn’t having that. So after work today I purchased a metal nail file and went to work on that little bastard, which wasn’t easy considering that it was the back side of the very back wisdom tooth. I had to get out some tin snips and cut the file down to side, and then bend it in a semi-circle just to reach the demented ninja tooth-dagger. Thankfully my efforts were successful, and the tooth was blunted. A small battle won against the law of entropy.

Tags: entropy, millions of rampant brainwashed consumer, neurosurgeons, ninjas
Current Mood: numb
Current Music: Rasputina

I sit alone in my bedroom
Staring at the walls
I've been up all damn night long
My pulse is speeding
My love is yearning

I hold my breath and close my eyes and...
Dream about her
Cause she's 2000 light years away

I sit outside and watch the sunrise
Lookout as far as I can
I can't see her, but in the distance
I hear some laughter,
We laugh together

My whole bike ride home I had a song in my head - (bone thugs, 1st of the month) - and when i got home the song was finishing up on my computer. (i leave the computer playing music for the animals while i'm at work.) i'm SO psychic.

Tags: animals, bike rides, bones, metaphysics, my computer, my head, songs, the month, thugs, universal unconscious, work
Current Location: in your head
Current Mood: exanimate
Current Music: cat power